He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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