I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
