i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
