margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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