You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
