I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
