Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize