i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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