I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
