the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize