$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
