but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
