Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
