Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You smell like stripper and shame
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
