The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I am naked and annoyed.
I am available for nakedness
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
