Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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