I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Quick, to the slutcave!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
