Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
nutella sex= disaster
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
there is glitter all over my balls
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