dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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