Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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