he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
