Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just gift wrapped bread.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
