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How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
