Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
