real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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