During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Are my feet made of real feet?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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