What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize