Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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