And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
