i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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