life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
