I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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