Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
