Pappa wants mamma naked
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
