now i know why i became what i already was.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
