Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
