i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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