it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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