Quick, to the slutcave!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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