It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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