after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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