i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
