I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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