I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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