Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize