I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
