everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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