no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
