No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
