i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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