After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
