Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Shame - the story of my life.
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