youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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