i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
