I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I look better un-naked...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
