'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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