You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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