She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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