i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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