its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
