you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
