As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize