First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
