I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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